What a trip it has been. It feels like only yesterday we got on a plane to head towards Thailand. But now as I open my eyes once again, I find myself on the familiar beaches of South Carolina. Every morning, I wake up, ready to do my daily routine but eventually realize that we are no longer in busy streets of Bangkok. Why is there this sudden pain in my heart, the pain of feeling home sick. A pain I didn’t even feel when I was in Thailand. I think it’s my heart telling me that it misses the moments spent with the students and how many miles apart we are.
What has the Lord done to me? Never would I have imagined myself in this situation. It only took the Lord one month, just one month, to open my heart and fill it with a joy for the nations. My heart cries out to experience this joy once more, while my tears know it’ll be awhile.
Time here in South Carolina has been nothing short of amazing. We’ve gotten the chance to be reunited with old friends and make new ones. I’ve been given lots of opportunities to share about my experience and what the Lord is doing in Thailand. By doing so it has also helped me understand and reflect on my trip. However, I struggle in conversing with others about the joy that I experienced. I feel as though I am incapable of finding the right words to describe how amazing and sweet the Lord was throughout the trip. It’s so hard to convey this joy when I don’t fully understand it myself. The thing I’ve come to understand is that the only one possible of changing my heart is God. I used to ask myself “Why should I go?” but by the end of the summer, I can gladly profess that it has changed to “Why should I stay?”. Before going, I thought about all the opportunities I would miss out on by going on this missions trip, like internships and times spent with friends and family. How silly I was because I have lost nothing, but came out so much better because I now have a new family and a new joy.
At times, I feel as though what I have to share is meaningless to some; being obligated to listen. These are just doubts and lies that run through my head after sharing. But I remember what it was like being in their shoes last year when I was on the listening end. It’s hard to understand what the person went through when you haven't experienced it for yourself.
At the end of the day, it isn’t my call to dwell on this but to be faithful in sharing the great work that God has done. I have to remember that I am not the one that's going to open their hearts to missions but that only God can change their hearts like he changed mine. God has indeed made our efforts fruitful. Many students have opened their hearts and minds towards missions. I pray that they would have the chance to experience the joy that I have experienced. A joy that only comes from sharing the good news with the people who need it the most.
- Eh Doh Drawny